


Just a Little

by Drag0nst0rm



Series: Even Shadows Have Stories [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: After Arthur's Death, And all that entails, Arthur Pendragon - Referenced, Canon Compliant, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 06:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7879273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drag0nst0rm/pseuds/Drag0nst0rm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She never really loved him, of course. She never got the chance to.</p>
<p>She never really hated him either, because she knew it wasn't fair to. That didn't stop the seed from being planted, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Little

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Merlin.

She thought she might love him, just a little.

Oh, Princess Elena wasn't heartbroken, by any stretch of the imagination. She didn't regret that she wouldn't be marrying Arthur. But it had all been a bit like a fairy tale, arriving in Camelot torn between what she was trying to be and what kept pulling her away from it, and she had left whole and content for the first time in her life.

She should be grieving her nurse or nursing hurt feelings, but she just felt _good_ for the first time ever. Her whole life seemed like a grey dream, and Arthur had woken her up.

She respected him, definitely, but just being near him seemed to have fixed her, so she let herself love him, just a little.

 

She thought she might hate him, just a little.

It wasn't fair of her, she knew. It wasn't as if Arthur had meant to die and leave them with this mess, it was just that he _had_ , and now her fairy tale was a nightmare.

She had ridden horses when she was a child. She had been good at that if nothing else. It had been effortless in a life of exquisite awkwardness.

It was slightly less effortless while riding out with knights and dodging arrows under a smoke strewn sky.

Guinevere was a good queen, no doubt about that, but the Saxons and the petty kings refused to believe a woman could be capable of ruling such a large kingdom. They nibbled at Camelot's borders, ever and always testing for weakness, and small kingdoms like Elena's were caught in the middle.

Marauding Saxons. Bandits. Lot and his men.

She was glad she was awake now and fully in command of herself. There was no room in this world for a dreaming, awkward, child. No room for fairy tales. Just broken, jagged pieces, forged into weapons that were sent out to kill or die.

The earth shuddered beneath her and her horse reared. A chasm opened in front of her, swallowing whole the men Lot had sent raiding.

The earth closed like a monstrous mouth. She turned to see Emrys high on the hill. She saluted him. He gave a shallow bow back.

He brought order wherever he went, but he couldn't be everywhere, not even with all his power. She wondered what had lured him from his queen's side today.

He appeared beside her before she could question it. He offered her his hand to help her dismount and kissed it when she did. It was a courtly gesture that felt odd on her rough, stained skin.

"Emrys."

"Your Highness. Gwen - Queen Guinevere sent me with a message."

She smiled as he stumbled over the name. It was good to see a hint of Merlin underneath the armor of Emrys. It gave her hope for herself.

He charmed her thoroughly as he gave his message, and before she knew it, she was agreeing to the madcap scheme that he claimed was all her fellow monarch's idea, but that she suspected had its root with him.

He smiled when he left, but it didn't hide the pain that had never once left his eyes.

It wasn't Arthur's fault, not at all, but she thought she might hate him, just a little.


End file.
